I am bendy and flexible,
yet resilient.
I bounce back from everything life throws at me.
I strive for perfection;
I remove mistakes.
However, push me too hard, and I will make
my very own mistakes.
I don’t stand out among a crowd.
I’m not tall, bold, or loud.
I may seem rough at the edges,
But I’m me.
I am a magic rub eraser.
Hi Leah,
ReplyDeleteThis is Mikayla, I think you did a great job on your metaphor poem. For one you did have great word choice. You used very descriptive like flexible, resilient, strive, and bounce. Your poem flows and all the lines of the poem goes together. However, I think you should start the poem with "I am a magic eraser" because without it in the beginning it doesn't really make sense, I started reading it and I didn't quite get what you were comparing yourself to until the end when you said "I am a magic eraser." Also I don't think that a magic eraser can strive for perfection. so you might want to take that line. If you make those changes you should be good and your poem will be great.
Leah!!
ReplyDeleteGreat job! Yet another creative work from you. This poem captured the essence of yourself I feel. It's very creative, funny, and different! I do feel you should phrase "make my own mistakes" differently maybe ending it with breaks "it's me that breaks". Anyways great job! You are awesome.
Keegan d.
Hi Leah,
ReplyDeleteLike your teammates, I enjoyed reading this poem :) And I agree with Mikayla that you had great word choice. I also like the suggestion that Keegan makes on the line about "my own mistakes."
I would disagree with Mikayla about revealing the comparison at the beginning...one of the challenging and enjoyable things about metaphor poems is trying to figure out the comparison by the end of the poem :)
I would like to see a few more specifics about you in the poem, though...I mean specific detail about your personality or behavior that correspond to the eraser.
Have you figured out how to do the video? It's going to be a challenge :)
mrs s